smells like horse poo. unicorns poo marshmallows. blue-green dingleberries. Chandler Bing. propositioning a prostitute from a caN. lamaz class. christina ann fan. fried pickle chips. jellybean. penguins have taken over the world. chameleon like cockroach, not thika. (something about basketball players and shorts). sound of music. decoupage toilet. smelly armpits. fat squishy toes. 20,000 leagues under the sea. dried squid is nasty?. crossword puzzle. scrabble. polka dot pillow. sleepover party. getting a nosebleed. inflatable saxophone. birthday sex. thika stroking an old man's beard. thika stroking her imaginary beard. maria likes penis. jessi's jellyfish impression. man boobs. foot odor and perfume stink?. nugget cashiers are hot. magical funfetti. buying crack on a street corner?.

ugh i can't remember the rest.

i don't feel like talking to anyone.

I haven't updated in about a year, but this definitely made me LOL in reality. Like laughing to myself on the couch while my mom asking me what's so funny/what's wrong with me.

otters369 (1:19:22 PM): my mom reminded me of a funny thing
otters369 (1:19:25 PM): i guess i told her
otters369 (1:19:27 PM): or maybe you told her
otters369 (1:19:31 PM): but i totally didnt remember
squeakythiki (1:19:40 PM): what?
otters369 (1:19:47 PM): she said that you used to hide in the bushes when your brother first started kindergarten to make sure he was okay?
squeakythiki (1:21:12 PM): my mom did taht
otters369 (1:21:19 PM): oh
otters369 (1:21:20 PM): hahahha
otters369 (1:21:22 PM): its so funny
otters369 (1:21:24 PM): i retold mel
squeakythiki (1:21:25 PM): i think i sat in my car a few times to see taht he walked to the bus okay
otters369 (1:21:26 PM): and she laughing
otters369 (1:21:29 PM): we were both imagining you
otters369 (1:21:31 PM): hiding in the bushes
otters369 (1:21:32 PM): hahahahah
squeakythiki (1:21:33 PM): my mom is crazy
squeakythiki (1:21:38 PM): lol i never hid in a bush
squeakythiki (1:21:42 PM): jsut in my car
squeakythiki (1:30:32 PM): i really need sunglasses
otters369 (1:35:14 PM): some legit ones
otters369 (1:35:18 PM): or fake ones
squeakythiki (1:35:21 PM): eh?
squeakythiki (1:35:27 PM): do you mean like nice?
squeakythiki (1:35:32 PM): not nice i break mine too easily
squeakythiki (1:35:38 PM): and i dont have the patience to like keep em in a case
squeakythiki (1:35:59 PM): although i gotta say coach has some nice sunglasses
otters369 (1:36:28 PM): OMG
otters369 (1:36:29 PM): haha
otters369 (1:36:32 PM): remember that one pair
otters369 (1:36:39 PM): we were like walking around
otters369 (1:36:41 PM): during yearbook
otters369 (1:36:42 PM): or after
otters369 (1:36:45 PM): and that wheelchair dude
squeakythiki (1:36:50 PM): OMG yes
squeakythiki (1:36:53 PM): i still tell that story
otters369 (1:36:53 PM): ran right over them right when you flung them
otters369 (1:36:55 PM): AHAHAH
otters369 (1:36:57 PM): it was so funny
squeakythiki (1:36:58 PM): its like unreal
otters369 (1:36:59 PM): so tragic
squeakythiki (1:37:23 PM): it was very very tragic

my summer is boring. i am ronrey. not exciting. i am going no where and in no direction.
please save.

OMG LIVEJOURNAL FINALLY GOT UNCENSORED IN CHINA?!?! TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. HELLLOOOOOO WORLD. now i have to catch up on everything!!!!

my mom came by yesterday for like an hour to drop off some stuff- she's so nice. but i wanted her to hang around more but she said she better go home. right after she left i got really homesick and i realized how much i miss my parents. when i'm at home i sometimes complain about them and stuff, but i dunno. lately i just want to go back home, but i can't. i got stuff i need to take care of here. last night i could barely sleep because i don't know how i'm gonna handle being in china for like 2 months without seeing them..or even friends. then i started thinking about how i don't want to go anymore, which is kinda ridiculous. i know it's going to be a good experience and it'll kinda force me to grow up...since it will be the first time i won't even be able to run to them if i have a problem..i dunno i just need some reassurance that tells me it's going to be okay and that i'm not making a mistake. =/ *sigh*

2 midterms next week + chinese quiz..

i'm really impatient with people i don't like..i almost just give them this mean mugging look when they ask me a stupid question, btw there ARE such things as a stupid question.

i have most definitely been emo this past week. i think it's mainly because of my orange arriving very soon, but this week has been an awfully lonely week. this week i have been tired, unmotivated, and generally unhappy. i go to bed, thinking about stupid uncontrollable things for a while until i can fall asleep. i wake up early and cannot help but to think about it again. i go to sleep sad and wake up sad. i mean really, how emo is that? *sigh* i hope things start to look up

i feel that i've finally learned how to give up on people and to stop making an effort. more than once this week have i not wanted to do anything (which is odd, since i always try to get stuff finished early) and just wanted to lie in bed for hours.

i dunno..i don't even feel like talking anymore.

i HELLA want to go shopping. i dunno why, but i cannot wait. plus i need some new spring clothes whoohoo. oh yea, and i need to find some jeans that actually fit and dont push my fat up to make a even more obvious muffin top -________-

who wants to go SHOPPPPPINGGG?!? bahhh can't wait to just hang out

i don't remember sleeping last night. i DO remember waking up 4 times and having to go pee. whenever i get anxious i can't sleep because i'm worried about the next day and i keep thinking about things over and over again. except it's never been this bad =/

TOP CHEF STARTS TONIGHT WOOHOO

i am screwed.

i HATE it when i miss questions on a test that i knew but got confused on. or there's like two things that are really similar and i was like hmmm. BUT I STUDIED IT AND KNEW IT OMGGGG I HATE IT AND I CANT GET OVER IT!!! STUPID PERSONALITY FINAL!!!!


and i think i'm getting sick again....hurrah. -______-

same cycle over and over.

friday:

me and phis one year :D. he took me to Manresa in Los Gatos (obviously expensive since its Los Gatos). i wanted to get the 4 course meal but he insisted on getting the tasting menu ($145 freaking dollars! OMGGGG i was so worried) but it was nice and adventurous and romantic :) 14 course meal with tiny portions of course, very interesting combinations that i normally wouldn't try, but of course i had to, i wanted to too :) he also got me a tiffanys necklace whoohooo. definitely spoiled. and i felt bad... very nice night, dinner lasted about 3 hours O_O

rest of weekend:

studied for midterm on wed. how ronrey.
oh but i watched The Departed. omggg so confused! i thought leonardo di caprio and matt damon were the same people! blue eyes and brown hair! HELLOOO except leonardo had some scruff. no wonder i was so confused for half of the movie -________- and like everyone died! sorry if i ruined the movie, but im guessing most people have watched it.


today:
went over the hill for a bit for some viet sandwich and some pho. yum. really really want to try fried pho. i will do that next time.

my parents left for egypt yesterday without me! so jealous! but then i got sad. this is the first time they're both gone for 2 weeks and i won't really be able to talk to them! yea...it may be kinda pathetic but i'm used to talking to them at least once in a couple of days or at least i would know they would be there. =/

DAMN MIDTERM TOMORROW *shakes fist*

and i'm sickie again :(

my feelings of inadequacy caught up with me last night. and now everyone probably thinks i'm stupid, but its ok because they don't understand the whole part anyway. dad yelled at me this morning and stormed out. meh. not such a good weekend.

hopefully tonight will be better..

so my psych & religion class just ended...i have to say at first i thought it was a bullshit class because ralph began to talk about his "spiritual journey"...but i was excited about every class and i loved it. he was so inspirational when he spoke about the material because he was passionate about it. he geniuely cared about everyone and was so NICE. he was the first teacher to admit that he was wrong and hes done drugs. everytime right before class ended he would put his hands together, and would say "namaste" which means " i greet the god that dwells within you" and after every lecture we would applaud. today we sang "lean on me" and when the class ended, we all stood up and applauded for him. i dunno, it just touched me so much. man, i'm gonna miss that class..

whilst attempting to study for my chinese quiz (oral part)...

ecstatic dawg21 (10:35:56 PM): zao wo hai hao ni ne
otters369 (10:37:05 PM): wo jin tian you yidianr bushufu. wo jue.de hen lei. wo de nei zhang chuang tai ruan, hen bushufu
ecstatic dawg21 (10:38:02 PM): wo de chuang ye hen ruan bu gou ying yexu tai jiu le
otters369 (10:38:51 PM): zheige sushe de wu.zi butai hao, dou nem.me xiao
ecstatic dawg21 (10:40:25 PM): ke shi za men de zhei jian jiao shi bu cuo. chuang de zem da, men zem gao. wuzi ye hen liang. suo.yi hen shu.fu
otters369 (10:41:52 PM): zhei ge xuexiaode fan zhen huai. zaofan buhaochi, zhongfan buhaochi, wanfan ye buhaochi
ecstatic dawg21 (10:43:21 PM): ni shuo bu hao. ke shi wo jue de zhei ge xue xiao de fan hai bucuo
ecstatic dawg21 (10:43:37 PM): Suiran
otters369 (10:45:06 PM): hai bugou huai ma? zuotian zhongwu de ji tai sheng, wanshang de niurou tai ying, jintian zaoshang de ji dan you tai lao
ecstatic dawg21 (10:47:23 PM): wo jue de ni de yao qui tai gao le. zhei ge xue xiao shi yi ge hao xue xiao. ye shi yi ge you ming de xue xiao. xue sheng duo. lao shi hao. ke shi ni jue de hai buguo hao
otters369 (10:48:43 PM): xuesheng suiran dou, keshi quichang tai xiao, laoshi ye tai shao ecstatic dawg21 (10:50:51 PM): zhei ge bu hao. nei ge ye bu hao. ni zhei ge ren shi xing qing tai qiguai. Ni kan za men de zhongwen laoshi duo me hao a
otters369 (10:52:23 PM): zhei wei laoshi hao shi hao, keshi ta you yidianr ai, bizi ye bugou gao, zhen buhaokan. ta de yan jing..
ecstatic dawg21 (10:53:26 PM): bie shuo le. ni zhen shi yi ge huaidan! ta shi wo mu qi ei!otters369 (10:54:07 PM): A
ecstatic dawg21 (10:54:06 PM): yay!
ecstatic dawg21 (10:54:07 PM): we win!
otters369 (10:54:16 PM): that was about the most ghetto thing ever.


ps i hate pinying -- it confuses me.

happy early veterans day - go shopping!

cliniquemonique4 (10:21:14 PM): paul was like what do you want to be
cliniquemonique4 (10:21:33 PM): and i was like i want to be a shepard and raise a flockcliniquemonique4 (10:21:34 PM): lol
otters369 (10:21:49 PM): haha
otters369 (10:21:53 PM): can i join in with you
otters369 (10:21:56 PM): ill live with the sheep
otters369 (10:22:02 PM): my nickname should be mary
cliniquemonique4 (10:22:15 PM): ill be maria since i can speak spanish

dammit i have no direction in my life. today i walked in a graduate school/job fair thing and i just walked out after i made a loop. all these other people were talking to the representatives and asking questions and i was just too nervous to do anything. besides the fact that i haven't even thought if i wanted to go to graduate school. my mom said not to worry, but everyone seems to know what they're doing, or they have some idea. I HAVE NO IDEA. arhakjrhaskj dammit i'm doomed.

im still bending over backwards for the same people that dont give a shit and have better things to do. whoopdeedoo. its like i cant engrain it into my head that just maybe its time to give up and say to myself, well, you could really find better friends. i just want to hold on to whats familiar and what used to be comfortable. i wish i was more outgoing with meeting new people.

maybe i shouldn't have believed in the unbelievable. then it wouldn't have hurt so much to fall all the way down.

i had such high hopes...